Monday, November 1, 2010

I promise never to complain about your dirty socks on the floor

Wedding vows are something I've not ever thought about, really. The actual ceremony part of the wedding has always just seemed a little like "have and hold, sickness and health, blah blah, I do" to me. But Morgan and I have talked about how to shoehorn some of ourselves into it all somehow. And this is when I realized that I have a problem with writing our own vows.

Disclaimer: This is all just true for me, and I realize that other people have their own ideas of what works for them, and they should absolutely do whatever feels right to them on their own wedding days.

Often when people write their own, they include in-jokes (or just regular jokes). But to me, the idea of writing vows with humor and lightheartedness injected feels like trivializing what is really a momentous occasion. I can't see myself vowing to stop telling him he folds towels the wrong way, or having him vow that he'll always take out the trash. I mean, really? Is that vow-worthy?

So all right, humor and lightheartedness is out (I bet you're shocked). But what about expressing more heartfelt sentiments?  There must be a lot of meaningful things we could say to each other, right? Right. And I can't imagine either of us saying them in front of a crowd.  We're not really a bare-our-souls-to-the-world sort of couple.

Where does that leave us? Good question. We're planning to look at a lot of different ceremonies. Hopefully we'll be able to pick and choose, add and subtract things that will make the vows seem like they're ours and say what we want to say without veering off into either trivia or maudlin sentimentality.

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