Thursday, February 3, 2011

Decisions, decisions

One of the major things you have to decide when you're throwing a wedding is who to invite. And maybe the biggest question about the guest list is whether or not to include children. I've read a lot of opinions in favor of having them there, and a lot in favor of having an adults-only affair.

Our conclusion on the matter was that we would prefer to have only adults at the wedding. I don't look at it as an exclusion of little ones, but as an opportunity for parents to enjoy themselves and not have to worry about entertaining their children. Also, let's be honest here: weddings are not exactly fun for kids.

Look at it from a kid's perspective.  There's cake, but you're not supposed to touch it. There are presents, but they're not for you. You have to sit still and be quiet kind of a lot - through the ceremony, for pictures, during dinner and toasts. If it's mostly adults at the wedding, it's hard to get someone to play with you because they're busy socializing with the other grown-ups. If there are other kids to play with, you still don't get to be too rambunctious. You can't run  around that much because you're probably wearing a special outfit that you're not supposed to get dirty. If you're under the age of about 5, you're not going to remember being there. If you're between 5 and 12, you're going to remember being bored to tears.

Over the age of 12, well, odds are you'll still be bored. However, you're old enough to deal with the fact that sometimes you've got to do these family events even when you'd really prefer to skip them.

The bottom line is: Morgan and I want people to have fun at the wedding, and we believe that everyone will have a better time if the kids sit this one out.

1 comment:

  1. You have a lot of good points here, and the decision whether to have kids at your wedding is such a personal one.

    I'm going to through a little bit of a wrinkle on your reasons, though, based on experience.

    When my daughter (who is turning 7 soon) was just barely 2, she was a flower girl for her aunt's wedding. She LOVED it. LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it. It was a very adult wedding. The only children present were her and her 1-year-old cousin, who was the ring bearer, but she still loved it. She was the loudest member of the community to say "We do" for the community blessing. She danced with the bride and groom, mom and dad, her baby cousin, her grandparents. She got cake and chocolate covered strawberries, and when she was pooped, I changed her into her jammies and she curled up underneath the table with her blankie and her favorite stuffed animal.

    When I told her I was getting married again, she immediately wanted to be a flower girl. She remembered every single detail of her aunt's wedding and has been directing the wedding plans ever since.

    Kids love weddings, even the boring parts.