Thursday, March 17, 2011

Things I learned at my wedding

Before I get to the inspiration for the title, I should let you know that I still don't have any great pictures to share, for which I apologize. But I'll share a few that you've already seen if you're friends with me on Facebook.

The night before - almost set up.
I wish I had a "before" picture of what that almond huller shed looked like when we first started talking about using it for the reception. It is absolutely unreal what that transformation entailed.
Happy hour!
The pre-ceremony happy hour was a great idea, if I do say so myself. It was great to have the opportunity to meet and talk to people before the actual main event. It helped alleviate some nerves. Kind of. Just to be clear - I wasn't nervous about the getting married so much as the doing it in front of everyone. 

Morgan, the kids and I all walked out to the ceremony together
But then it was time to disappear and get ready for the main event. And this is where I get to the "things I learned."
  • If you are someone (like me) who didn't dream about your wedding day from the time you were a child, rehearsing it all in your head, you will not know what the heck you're supposed to be doing half the time. It would be fortuitous if you realized this before the actual day, so that you could prepare by having someone there who will remind you of things you are forgetting. Like your bouquet.
    • Yes, if you look at that last photo, you will not see a bouquet. Nor will you see a boutonniere for Morgan. We had them; oh yes, we had them. In fact, at the exact moment that photo was taken, the bouquet and boutonniere were sitting upstairs in the house. Until I get the pro photos back, take my word for it: they were beautiful. (Yes, the photographer got pictures of the bouquet on a table or something, and I could blame him for throwing me off, but I sincerely doubt that had much to do with it.)
  • There will be a moment in the ceremony when something goes wrong. Our officiant told us this when we first talked to him, and I only half-believed him, but he was right. It's unavoidable, and arguably not something you even want to avoid. There is a moment when someone will misspeak, everyone will laugh, and it will break the tension.
  • Unless you have superhuman endurance, you will at some point be hugged- and smiled-out. Take a minute, back away from everything and everyone, and breathe deeply. It'll help.
  • You should eat right before anyone arrives. You might think you'll be able to eat some of the food everyone else will be eating, but this is simply not true. You can't talk and eat at the same time. You also can't run to a mirror every time you've eaten something to check for spinach in your teeth. And finally, don't underestimate the power of adrenaline to suppress your appetite. By the time you can eat relatively worry-free, you won't be hungry.
The biggest thing I learned, though, was that none of that stuff really matters. At the end of it, you'll be a little sad that your awesome bouquet won't be in any of the pictures, that the ceremony wasn't "perfect," and that you couldn't be a smiling, hugging machine. But hours later, you'll be sitting in a hamburger joint devouring food like a ravenous wolverine with the man who is now your husband, and you won't be able to wipe the smile off your face.


  1. Ursula, I sincerely thought you were starting a trend by NOT having a bouquet or flowers at your wedding. I was like "Where are her flowers?" Thanks for the real meaning behind not having them. But you looked smashing!

  2. Jen, I didn't have any real flowers anywhere at the wedding, that's true. And the bouquet wasn't real flowers either, but I did have one.

  3. It sounds absolutely imperfectly perfect. Congrats!

  4. Thank you, Suzanne! It was. I had a couple of sad moments afterward about those things, but if it didn't bother me at the time ... how much could it have really mattered?

  5. Sounds like a beautiful day and I love the pictures you've shared! My favorite part is the last line ... won't be able to wipe the smile off your face. =) So true!!!